My wife just returned from her annual “Babes on the River” rafting trip. To support the effort I have the kids all to myself for a few days. Most years, when the kids were younger, we would just stay home, spending each day staring at each other until nap time or bed time. It was a pretty easy gig. Now that the kids are older, I can’t get away with that anymore. This year I decided to take the kids to Pagosa Springs to see their Grandmother while mom was having fun in the sun. Turns out I would have been better off staying home and staring at the kids until they got sleepy. I’m just kidding, it was a great time and here’s some tips to make a great weekend getaway with your kids.
The first tip I want to share is to make sure you keep a cooler full of refreshments and a bag full of snacks in the car. If you don’t, you’ll be stopping at every gas station in Idaho Springs, Leadville, and Center looking for just the right thing to make their little tummies stop screaming at you from the back seat. I go with Gatoraide, Combos (the cheddar-filled pretzel kind), Tootsie Pops, and fruit leather. I’m not going for the five food groups here, just two basic responses – quiet and happy. Door to door, Pagosa Springs is 288 miles from my house. I measure the snacks I bring in YPM – yells per mile. The lower the YPM, the better. While I’ve never been able to achieve zero YPM, I have come pretty close with this assortment of snacks and drinks.
The second tip is to get a really good radar detector. Really good. Why? Because even if you bring the best snacks with the lowest YPM, you still don’t want to spend any more time in the car than you have to. Forget gas mileage. No amount of money can replace you last nerve when you’re driving down Wolf Creek Pass, about to hit the 20 MPH hairpin turn near the bottom, and the kids start asking the age old question “Are we there yet?!?”
The third tip is to get a really good lawyer for when the really good radar detector fails to spot the CSP officer hiding just over the hill with an instant-on laser gun. If he (the Colorado State Patrolman) any kids of his own, he would understand why I was driving the car like I stole it… At least I have pretty pink souvenir ticket to remember my trip.
The fourth tip is to get a dual screen DVD player for the backseat and stock up on every Pixar movie made in the last seven years. Throw in a few Disney movies like the Little Mermaid and Merry Poppins and you’re set. To go with the DVD player make sure you have two spare headphones. Spare headphones are CRUCIAL! Despite repeated warnings, my son somehow transitioned from his Tootsie Pop to chewing on the headphone cords. As soon as the sound went dead he pulled the plug so everyone in the car could enjoy the soundtrack and dialog as loudly as possible. Now I’ve seen “Finding Nemo” over 1,000 times (I’m not kidding) and I don’t need to hear it again; ever again. I quickly plugged in the spares and we were happily on the way – he had Nemo back in full stereo surround sound and I had Led Zeppelin free of the Pixar sound effects.
The fifth tip is to force your kids to use the bathroom when you stop for gas or to stretch your legs. If you don’t they will inevitably tell you “I have to go potty… NOW!” exactly half way between the last civilized bathroom and the next. This isn’t a problem for either kid when we’re just talking about Number 1. Being “mountain kids” they’ve both learned to adapt and overcome while hiking in the woods, so to speak. When we’re talking about 1+1, no amount of privacy is enough for them to work with and a porcelain palace is the only thing that will suffice.
The sixth tip is to forget about a reasonable bedtime. Sharing the same hotel room with two kids means that unless they pass out from using every last ounce of energy swimming in the pool or running around on the playground, they’re not going to sleep until you do. If the TV is on, so are they. And don’t think that just because you’re the parent that the kids will put up with watching “World Poker Tour” or “ESPN Sportscenter”. They won’t. I got lucky and we compromised – we watched the “Princess Diaries” on the Disney Channel and during the commercials we watched bits and pieces about elk and deer hunting on the Outdoor channel. Despite the protests, I finally turned off the TV around 10pm when it was obvious that my daughter was shooting for a new “stay up late” record and I would have a very grumpy princess on my hands if we didn’t get to sleep sooner than later.
The seventh and final tip is to just enjoy the adventure with your kids. There is a quote – “Happiness is a journey, not a destination” which is easily forgotten when you’re miles from home, sleeping in a motel and wishing you were home. The only part of the entire trip that truly frustrated me was the bumper to bumper traffic from the tunnel to Idaho Spring. Everything else was a blast. The kids and I got to catch-up on some quality time together and mom will never know how many ice cream cones it really takes to get the YPM close to zero. I do, but that’s a tip I’m not at liberty to share right now.
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